心情好难用一个词来形容。
。。。。
好像热锅上的蚂蚁吧~
焦虑，不安，但却打不开锅子的感觉。
即使锅子裂了个缝，也因怕出去后不能适应，而不想出去。
只能在热锅里慢慢热死，慢慢窒息。
好难受喔。
最近都觉得自己只有剩下没有灵魂的去壳罢了。
空虚，很空虚。
去了展览会才明白，原来不为别的，就只因自己该做的事和想做的事差了十万八千里。
后悔，很后悔。
如果时光能够倒流，我或许会不一样。
但它不能。
最亲的人对我说，这只不过是逐渐成熟的必经过程。
因为梦想终究归回一个“梦”字。
试问到底有多少想上月球的人真的到过月球呢？
所谓的成熟就是认清实际。
明白，很明白。
但为何心里却有一丝丝的抗议。
不想自己的一生就这么一般。
回头想想看，还真的有想上月球的人真的做到了。
郁闷，很郁闷。
因为一旦否定了现在的人生，就否定了我二十多年的努力。
我该如何是好？
wat a sucky day..
all bcoz of tt cursed person..
knowing tt person is such a curse.
it really doesn't pays to be kind.
talks abt morals n ethics and watever not philosophies.
i wonder is it even in human nature aniwae...
我宁可相信这世上没有坏心眼的人，也不想试图去相信处处都是小人。
这样很傻吗？
或许是很笨吧。
但我觉得后者会很累。
前者反而会觉得世界非常美。
既然如此，又何必去当后者。
- Mood:
blank
If there's one thing that I have to choose to throw into the sea, it'll definitely be my HANDPHONE.
it's limiting my FREEDOM and intruding my PRIVATE TIME.
Sometimes I wished that I would not be so easily accessible by fone.
- Mood:
annoyed
Hi everyone~
finally free to check out chin's email on the trip that we r suppose to celebrate our 10th ANNIVARSRY!!!
I would propose Boracay island, located in the Philippines.
i think it'll be a perfect island get away location as it is the one place tt will fit all of us.
it's beaches is on the world's top 10 list and suitable for windsurfing and snorkelling.
there's also a small hill on the island for those who love a small hike.
on the mountain, there's also a bat cave, an excellent place for those with an exploring spirit.
At nite, the island has many restaurants offering a wide variety of food ranging from Philippines cusine to European buffet.
There's also bars for us to chill out.
The resorts that the islands has to offer looks great too.
We can spend the nite playing cards.
wahaha~
This is what I propose.
What about you gals??
- Mood:
energetic
coz i'm juz lazy~
wahaahhhahah~
Found myself at a loss again yesterday while staring at dinner menu outside a hongkie restaurant.
we are trying to find a dinner place to celebrate 萝卜's fren bdae.
水蜜桃and me were checking out the menu to see whether there is ani vegetarian food for me.
and obviously, there was none.
I was feeling super at a loss.
and suddenly not hungry at all.
I hate the idea of me troubling other ppl and forcing others to accomodate me juz bcuz of my special diet.
kept asking 水蜜桃 "how?"
really stress until my mind went blank.
I used to hate lunch time in primary and secondary sch.
it's was during JC tt a fellow fren having the same diet told me tt it's only right tt ppl accomodate to us.
I'm really grateful tt he taught tt it is not a shameful thing to hav a special diet.
but, i still feel terrible when ppl r forced to accomodate my need.
to say the truth, i still hate lunch now.
sometimes dinner (if i hav to eat with colleagues n frenz).
no one can imagine the amt of stress i had before and during lunch/dinner.
yet, despite all these stress.
I m still deeply touched by my frenz.
there was once when I have thai cusine with 水蜜桃, 萝卜and菠菜.
being greedy, i wanted to ordered quite a lot of different variety, but i knew i cun finished.
when i'm controlling myself and trying to choose one dish from the menu, one of them told me tt they r okay to share dishes with me.
i din noe how to react for 30 seconds coz i'm so deeply touched.
i juz wan to say a big 'thanx' to my all frenz who has been accomodating me and my diet for 10 years.
I m really grateful.
- Mood:
grateful
but i'm writing this entry in english~
have been working darn hard eversince monday~
and my work is still being carried forward till today~
had work till 1am yesterday~
hard facts of life.
WTH.
had open my company's email yesterday and realised my mailbox almost burst.
just bcoz i din check on for 5 days as i was busy reading my client's documents.
browsing through all the mails, i found one that particularly interest me.
it's one abt resilience.
it's the one word tat means one can jump up from one's down state.
it's one impt aspect i would need in my profession.
hard facts of life.
was skiving one hr ago.
watching a new jap drama called "hokaben".
it's a story of a graduate of law entering a law firm as her first job.
and she tot law was there to help the needy.
then she learn the hard way and found out that law was a double edge sword.
by then her client is telling her how useless she was and not acknowledging her.
AND her emotion went to the bottom - she broke down.
her story was in some way similar to mine when i started out working.
with my clients, manager and seniors, who were there to constantly remind me how stupid i was, i dun need another person to confirmed the hard truth.
it was when i reach my "genkai" - "limits" in japanese, i found the key to continue my tough career path.
yes, it's resilience.
"wham".
the hard facts of life.
- Mood:
busy
所以与其滥竽充数，不如不提笔。
近来对什么都不感兴趣。
常想是因为工作太忙，还是老了？
大家是否有何秘方可以激发出兴奋感呢？
有件事倒是非常期待地，就是等待着介兰花，黑胡椒与花椒的归来。
就差山竹和小辣椒，蔬菜水果之家就能够团圆了。
YEAH!!
昨天碰巧在报章上读到豆腐喜欢的一位写稿人的文章。
豆腐觉得他很风趣但也不离重点，文采高。
如果有兴趣，不如点以下读一下他的文章。
Neil Humphreys
- Mood: blank
豆腐用了一点力气把紧闭的双眼睁开二分。
看见窗外的乌鸦与八哥为群，充当起了小黄鸟，组成一支合唱团。
天色有点深橙色，想必是早上五点左右吧。
"shut up lah --------------"
豆腐用抱枕掩自己的耳朵。
为了待会儿工作更有精神，豆腐抱着必死的决心一定在回到周公身边。
哇哇哇 -------------------------！
豆腐睁开双眼发现自己站立在万人面前。
由许多盏照明灯直照着豆腐。
豆腐的左边有个陌生人在舞动，然后拿起麦克风唱起歌来。
“ 我的妈呀！原来我在舞台上-------- ”
忽然间，豆腐的身体不受控制，也开始唱起歌来。
台下的观众疯狂的呐喊。
豆腐还是不太搞得清楚状况。
终于表演完了，台帘也频频落下。
豆腐若无其事地和同伴走到后台。
走进后台的当儿，豆腐瞧见了一张熟悉的面孔。
站在一旁，用着最帅气和可爱的微笑对豆腐微笑着。
豆腐愣了一下下，那不是小王子吗？！
"哇哇哇 -------------------------！"
豆腐的心顿时高声欢呼，小鹿乱撞。
但豆腐的身体依旧不受控制。
豆腐慢条斯理地走了过去，正当豆腐要开口说话时。。。
哔哔 哔哔 哔哔 ----------------------------------------
不会吧！在这最精华的时刻时钟就响？！
不愿回到世界的豆腐紧闭着双眼，快手地把时钟给关了。
可爱的小王子对着豆腐微笑，近看之下，小王子的双眼更加明亮，牙齿也更加白皙。。。
"Girl啊！还不要起来啊------------！"
顿时之间，小王子那张帅气的面孔就消失得无影无踪了~
哎呀，原来要做好梦也是很难的啊！
但豆腐一整天的心情都无比的好，都是小王子的功劳。呵呵～
- Mood:
excited
因菠菜有所问，所以豆腐有所答。
豆腐认为生命就有如一份考卷，但每人的考题都不同。
有的人拿到较难的，有些人却被分到非常容易的。
所以在经过一关又一关的考题后，每个人对于他们独一无二的考卷的了解和领悟就不一样了。
有的人因解答了前面的大难题，对于后面的题目自信满满。
有的人却因解答大难题而懊恼，一时想放弃，举起自己的手，想让考官来收卷。
但后者是否有意想到后面的题目或许更简单呢？
豆腐认为生命有否意义是在于交卷后的成绩单， 因为成绩单才能显示一个人解答考卷的好与坏。
- Mood:
drained
豆腐被自己的悲愤折腾了整晚。
悲是为亲人的悲而悲。
愤是因自己无法为亲人作些事而愤。
心理有许多无可奈何。
只想说：“本是同根生，相煎何太急”啊！
- Mood: annoyed
三字经里有此一言：“人之初，性本善”。
所谓有此之言，必有其之道理。
谣言是无风不起浪，道理也不是没有它的根据地。
生在现代社会的我们，都不时被提醒着世间有多险恶，人人有多现实。
但当面对着人人都无法抵抗的天灾地祸时，还是有众多人挺身而出，伸出一双援手。
人间始终有温情，人人心里也有始至终存放着颗赤子之心呀！
让豆腐倍感欣慰的是，这颗赤子之心并没有随时代的变迁而消失，只不过是被深埋在人们心
时机一到，它便会闪闪发亮，破石而出。
如今既然都知道我们每人都有此宝贝，何不把它更加善于利用，把它带到我们每日日常生活
所谓助人为快乐之本，只要不去计较有否回报，助人又何尝不是一件有意义又乐己的事呢？
- Mood:
content
自古以来，忠言逆耳。
但豆腐还是想把心中的担心与关心传达给想飞的鸟儿。
我们都是被关在铁笼子里的小鸟。
在这铁笼子里，我们没有自由。
但却有主人时时刻刻在照顾着我们每日的起居饮食以及个人安全。
关在铁笼里的我们，无时无刻地盼望着能够飞出去的那么一天。
那是因为从铁笼里，外面的世界是多么地耀眼呀！
但是外面的世界固然自由，却没有笼子里有的安稳。
对于在笼子里生活了几十年的我们，已把安稳当作是一种理所当然。
我们当然不比野鸟来的灵活，有危机感。
外面的世界有生机，也有危机，一个不小心就会栽跟斗。
受伤是小，但培命是大。
豆腐的意思不是让小鸟永远地呆在笼子里，而是希望小鸟能够部署一番才飞出笼子。
如果有勇无谋，只会赔了夫人又折兵罢了。
- Mood:
worried
看到了淡水有‘铁蛋’，我也朝往‘想变成铁豆腐’的目标前进。
拼命想变铁豆腐的我，虽然没有成功，但起码也变成了炸豆腐。
炸豆腐当然比豆腐来得较硬，但它毕竟不是铁。
不必费吹灰之力，也可以让它变成豆花。
豆腐很灰心。
俗语说得好：精诚所至，金石为开。
试问豆腐真的能够美梦成真吗？
- Mood: exhausted
豆腐看到朋友们的回复，好开心。
因为没想到她们会那么快来看豆腐的新部落格。
昨天豆腐戏弄了小馒头一番，还觉得满好玩的。
虽然事过之后有点罪恶感，但是因为小馒头实在是太搞笑了，所以并没有后悔。
又到了“久违”的星期天。
心理又不知不觉地沉重起来。
豆腐觉得对于目前的工作没有满足感。
觉得碍于这份工，豆腐离自己的梦想越来越远。
其实豆腐的梦想非常之简单。
但长大后的豆腐明白了一个小道理。
梦想不论看似多么简单，都离不开一股执著，时间以及金钱。
三种要素缺了一样，梦想就没办法支撑了。
所以要达成梦想，谈何容易啊！
- Mood:
blah
tired在蓝天白云的天空下，海风阵阵，非常享受。
虽然脚踏车并不怎样，但有萝卜伴着我说话，已实在完美不过了。
心情变得较轻松，顿时快乐了许多。
晚间我们俩和水蜜桃一起吃晚饭。
我发觉我们三个臭皮匠不是窝在一起唱K，就是凑在一起吃日本餐。
哈哈哈！
晚饭之后，彼此叙述了一些成年往事，社会趋势，等等。
发觉在一夜之间，了解了身旁的朋友不少。
例如菠菜和小馒头的一些点点滴滴，都是我没去擦决到的。
哎呀~
好温馨啊!
好像回到以前中学年代，无忧无虑的感觉。
有点小幸福。
真希望又能有像这样的聚会。
- Mood:
loved
大人的世界就是沒那么单纯。
豆腐但愿自己是个莲藕，身陷浊水而心不浊。
外面的世界都深信“铁铸磨成针”这道理，豆腐希望别越磨越变豆花得好才是！
- Mood:
creative
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